I’ve spent a lot of my years wondering what I would be when I grew up (almost as if I didn’t really have a choice about it). What I was suited to, where I would be able to find a job I loved, and how I would manage to fit a life in around it. I approached it with the eyes of ‘how can I qualify myself enough so that something lucky will happen and I will end up working somewhere I love?’ The problem with this mindset is that I had essentially given up all of my control. I felt lost, undervalued, and like nobody was ever going to recognize my potential and give me the container I needed to blossom. I was waiting for somebody else’s ‘permission’ to develop my greatness.
It’s easy to do. When we are told from very young ages what to want, what to believe, what to value. It takes active ambition to decide that you don’t fit that mold and are going to do something different, BE somebody different. That the status quo isn’t serving you, and won’t support YOUR values. That it simply doesn’t bring you joy.
It takes even more ambition to realize and decide that you are going to create your own opportunities. On your own time, in your own way, so that you can truly have it all: a vibrant life, an amazing family and a sense of purpose that earns you money but doesn’t feel like a J-O-B!
I still remember back to the day I gave my notice at the ad agency I was working for. I was supposed to be returning from maternity leave. I was uncertain it was the ‘right’ thing to do (despite crying about how unhappy I was for months before my maternity leave ever started, both because I knew I wouldn’t want to leave my baby and because the agency was ‘mentally unstable’.) At one point in the conversation my boss said ‘it’s hard at first to leave your baby with somebody else, but you’ll get over it’.
It was at that moment that things became crystal clear. I didn’t want to ‘get over it’. I had no idea how I was going to afford staying at home, or where I would find money to make up the difference, but it was absolutely out of alignment with what I believed my role was as a mama to have to ‘get over it’. And I was ready to do what it took to make it happen.
I don’t mean to imply that every mama should stay home- I am certainly not here to judge your decisions, but for me it was so very obviously out of alignment with what I wanted for my life.
I also don’t mean to imply that everything became clear for me at that moment, because it has still been a long road of giving myself ‘permission’ to listen to my heart when my head was yelling ‘no! don’t do it!’
However, that was the first of a long line of choices that have led me where I am. Choices that haven’t always made logical sense. Our finances and relationships have had a fair share of challenges along the way as a result of jumping before we were ready, but the challenge and beauty of building a parachute on the way down has given me so dang much faith in the universe that we will ALWAYS be taken care of if we are making choices from our inner knowingness. The resources we need always seem to find their way to us, one way or another.
The biggest lesson I learned, though? I realized that the reason I never found the perfect job was because I was trying to squish myself into a box that just didn’t fit. Through self-exploration, mental, and spiritual expansion I realized I was missing the point altogether. I was trying to find the perfect job, when really what I needed to do was to build a life. To learn what it is that I really freakin’ care about, to clear away the clutter of other peoples’ opinions of success, to serve in the way that I have always longed to but never felt qualified for, and to do it with a spirit of adventure and fun. To create the life I crave.
We are not here, on this earth, to build a resume. We are here to live. To love. And to have a craptastic lot of fun! And I, for one, want my resume (and my life) to reflect that.
If you are ready to start creating the life you crave, let’s chat. I am beta testing my new package Create the Life You Crave; a 90 day transformation for mamas seeking greater simplicity, purpose and joy– participation is limited to 5 lucky mamas! If you are interested in hearing more or in signing up, now is the time. I’m offering this for a steal of a deal- after this, I will be increasing my prices!
Cheers to building a life you love,