Have you ever had a moment when you suddenly realized that you weren’t living to your full potential- you weren’t thrilled with the path you were on, or you weren’t reaching the heights you had always dreamed of as a child? Life has a way of breaking you down- failure, rejection, criticism- and slowly but surely you start to believe it. I’ve been there- somehow I’d become a master of what is ‘possible’ without having to reach too hard, and yet I felt as though that was just the hand I was dealt.
Breakthrough moment- I was digging in the garden, thinking about the future potential for these little plants, and all of a sudden I had the realization that I was settling for my life. I realized that the excitement I had for the possibilities of life as a child wasn’t just naivete. The fact that I wasn’t living my dream meant that I was, in fact, wasting my personal potential.
Now when I say all of this, I realize that it sounds like I was, or am, unhappy. I don’t mean that we shouldn’t be happy with where we are in time and place- after all at that time I had two beautiful, energetic girls, an amazing husband, and a job with friends I love- but I had no grander vision for my future. No real plans. No goals to reach for. No one to serve with my most authentic self. I was living a good life, but I wasn’t even beginning to tap into my potential. My purpose hadn’t even begun to be illuminated.
I am a doer. A go-getter. And yet I didn’t know where I wanted to end up, so I just never started out of fear that I would choose the ‘wrong thing’. The problem with this mentality, though, is that if you never start anything then you’ll never end up anywhere other than where you are. Even if you choose the wrong path, at least you’re moving and can make adjustments to your path as you get additional insights.
Finally (finally!) I started using my intuition and listening to my inner voice. I took some risks. I had amazing connections and ideas arise from the places I least expected it. I met inspirational people. I cried. I laughed. I felt the world of possibilities open up around me- finally I am living!